Etiquette and Cultural Norms in Japan

A person is identified by their manners and behaviour and you are also a representative of your own country and bound to leave an impression. The key to avoiding any unpleasantaries when you visit a country is to know something about their culture. When you travel to Japan, you are a guest and the Japanese do not expect visitors to know every aspect of their culture, but understanding the basics helps avoid uncomfortable situations. The Japanese are extremely well mannered, disciplined and cultured. Etiquette and behaviour in Tokyo is a very important aspect, of this country as a whole. The Japanese in general are very reserved. Showing extreme emotions is out of place. They are nothing if not polite. At all times, try your very best to be utterly polite. In Tokyo, people are always well groomed and remarkably well dressed. Point to be noted when you pack your wardrobe for Japan.

 

The Japanese Face

Saving face is crucial in Japanese society. They believe that turning down someone's request causes embarassment and loss of face to the other. Instead of a direct "no", saying "it is inconvenient" or "it is under consideration" is always more acceptable. Face is the mark of personal dignity and the Japanese will never do anything to cause loss of face. They will never openly criticize or insult anyone. Face can be earned through praise and gratitude.

 

Harmony in Japanese Society

Harmony is of key value in Japanese society. Japanese children are taught to act harmoniously and co operatively. They place great importance on politeness, personal responsibility and working together for universal good rather than individual good. Harmony is important if productive results are to be seen. Facts which are disagreeable are presented in an indirect manner.

 

Japanese Non Verbal communication and Body Language

The Japanese often use silence for communication as much as speaking. Since they strive for harmony and are group dependant, they rely on facial expressions, tone of voice, posture and body language to tell them what someone feels. They often trust the non verbal messages rather than the spoken word, as the spoken can have several meanings. Frowning when someone is speaking is interpreted as a sign of disagreement. Most Japanese maintain an impassive expression when speaking. Body language to watch out for is tilting of the head, inhaling through clenched teeth, scratching the back of the head and scratching of the eyebrow. It is considered extremely disrespectful to stare into another's eyes, particularly someone senior in age or status. In crowds, Japanese people avoid eye contact to give themselves and others privacy. The Japanese gesture for "who, me?" is pointing to the nose and not their chest, like it is done in the west. They do not like excessive physical gestures like back slapping, prodding, pointing directly at someone with finger or pointing your foot at someone. The Japanese do not like showing affection in public. hugging, kissing and holding hands are very rare scenes.

 

Japanese Hierarchy

In Japan, everyone has a distinct place in hierarchy. They are extremely conscious of age and status, be it family, extended family, social or business situations. The oldest person in a group is always revered and honoured. In social situations, the elders are always attended to first. It is polite to put "san" after another's name, "chan" after a young girl's name and "kun" after a young boy's name, but never use any of these after your own name.

 

Japanese Bowing

Bowing is the most important aspect of Japanese etiquette and culture, and they bow a lot. It is their version of a handshake, only more complex and is considered nothing less than an art. Failing to return a bow is considered impolite. The Japanese express respect, greet ( hellos and goodbyes ), apologize and express gratitude with a bow. When one presents a business card or a gift, always present with both hands and a slight bow as you pass it to the recipient. A simple inclination of the head or a slight bow at the waist is enough for Gaijin or foreigners. This Japanese custom is indeed very complex. The depth and length of a bow depends on the social status or the age of the person you bow to. Generally speaking, an inferior bows longer, more deeply and more frequently than a superior. A superior addressing an inferior will generally only nod the head slightly, while some superiors may not bow at all and an inferior will bend forward slightly from the waist.

Basic bows are performed with the back straight and the hands at the sides (boys and men) or clasped in the lap (girls and women), and with the eyes down. Bows originate at the waist. Generally, the longer and deeper the bow, the stronger the emotion and the respect expressed. Bows can be generally divided into three main types: informal, formal, and very formal. Informal bows are made at about a fifteen degree angle or just tilt over one's head to the front, and more formal bows at about thirty degrees. Very formal bows are deeper. The etiquette surrounding bowing, including the length and depth of bow, and the appropriate response, is exceedingly complex. For example, if the other person maintains his or her bow for longer than expected (generally about two or three seconds), it is polite to bow again, upon which one may receive another bow in return. This often leads to a long exchange of progressively lighter bows.

 

Dining Etiquette

If you get invited to dine with a Japanese family, consider it a great honour and yourself very fortunate. Many Japanese regard their homes to be too humble to entertain guests. Always arrive in time or no longer than 5 minutes late. There is a protocol to be followed, so wait to be told where to sit by the host and wait to be served by the host. There is no such thing as "help yourself". Never point your chopsticks at somebody or leave them in your bowl facing upwards. Never play with your food with your chopsticks. Never pierce your food with your chopsticks and wave your chopstick about wondering what to eat. Chopsticks should be returned to rest when you drink or stop to speak. Do not cross your chopsticks. Try all the food that is offered. It is absolutely normal to slurp your noodles and soup and make slurping sounds in Japan. While enjoying a drink, always pour your companion's drink and let the companion pour a drink for you. One does not pour their own drink in Japan. If you do not want a repeat of drink, leave some in your glass. If you do not want a repeat of rice, finish every grain in your bowl. Never place your chopsticks on your bowl, always let your chopsticks rest on the table or the chopstick rest, once you are done with your meal. It is customary to say "Itadakimasu" before eating and "Gochisosama dashita" after eating, especially if you have been invited. 'Kanpai" is the word for cheers.  Conversation at the table is generally subdued. The Japanese like to savour their food. Eating in public places is considered ill mannered. It is still uncommon for Japanese people to eat while walking around. Some consider it rude to eat in public or on trains, but this is not a universally held belief.

 

Gift Giving

The Japanese rarely invite someone to their home, but if they do invite you, do not forget to take a gift. Gift giving is highly ritualistic and meaningful. They are fond of chocolates, flowers, fruit basket or melons, small cakes, candy and alcohol. Gift giving is very important in Japan and so is the wrapping of the gift. Make sure the gift is wrapped in a neat, tidy and attractive manner and preferably in pastel shades. Giving cash at weddings and funerals is normal, but use new bills, not old. It is polite to belittle the value of your gift or food when you offer it, even if it is untrue. It is considered impolite to unwrap a gift as soon as you receive it although in casual circumstances, it is normal to ask the giver if it can be opened. Do not give white flowers as they are associated with funerals. Avoid potted plants although a bonsai is acceptable.

 

Shoes

In Japan, it is better to wear shoes that can be easily slipped on and always wear good, clean socks. . While entering a Japanese home, temple, ryokan or Japanese style inn, some public places and certain restaurants, shoes must be removed. Shoes must be left pointing away from the doorway you are about to walk through. Sometimes slippers are provided to guests. House slippers which are to worn around the house or indoors but removed before walking on to a Tatami or a straw mat and bathroom slippers, exclusively to be worn to use the rest room and removed once done, immediately. Shoes are meant for outdoors.

 

Here are some general cultural norms:

1. Saying "Thank You" is good, in any country. In Japan, its "Arigato" and for Thank You very much, its "Domo Arigato".

2. The emergency masks people wear in the streets are not due to some terrible disease. They are worn to protect other people from a virus or slight cold. The Japanese are extremely hygienic. If possible, avoid blowing your nose in public, which is considered highly offensive, coughing without covering your mouth, yawning loudly or chewing gum. If you have to blow your nose, excuse yourself and use a restroom.

3. Tipping is not customary in Japan. If at all, it is considered rude. No tipping required for porters, restaurants, waiters, hotels, taxis etc.

4. Sometimes, you may be handed back a lump sum of change money, when you shop or at a restaurant. Counting the change means you do not trust the merchant. The Japanese are very hard working, conscientious and trustworthy.

5. You are not supposed to turn your back to someone in a higher status than you even while you are saying goodbye.